Thursday, August 04, 2005

"Hard work is for suckers"

Not to give off the wrong impression, I have an enormous amount of respect for those who "man-up" and go to work every day to support their families. Having a strong work ethic is definately a positive and i'm not trashing that idea.

The purpose of this post is to put things into context, create a sense of perspective if you will.

There are literally millions(huge number when you visualize it) of people going to work every single day and getting a paycheck in some form. Be it weekly, bi-weekly, time clock, commission, tips, these people are performing some function that they most likely hate or at least would certainly not do otherwise for cash. Money makes the world go round, money talks, bullshit walks. You've heard it all before.

Well, I am currently one of the teaming monotonously preouccupied mass off suckers that clocks in every day and cruise controls it into the weekend. I make about $2500 take home a month and I'm doing something that I pretty much loath. I don't even have the energy to shadowbox in my cube anymore. Fortunately an end is in sight as I am buying a place in upstate NY and will be leaving my current place of employ.

I will not do something that I dread anymore. I'm going to get a bartending gig, go to school, and play internet poker in NY. I'm going to think and dream and plan and grind out a sweeeet life for myself and the misses. I want a lot more from life than a few memories sandwiched in between a bunch of boring waste. The cash is simply not worth wasting away the prime of my life.

There are people out there with so much money that it becomes a non object. They do things for fulfillment, accomplishment, and pleasure. The reason these people work, mostly, is because they are driven internally to accomplish the goals that they have set. They want to change things, improve, and be remembered. Well Fuck if I don't want the same thing. I want to travel to festivals, concerts, historic sights and events, exotic cultures. And I don't want to have to stress about the dough. Fuck money, I'm gonna have a ton one day.

Right now i'm pretty much fucking broke. I'm investing all I have into this property, supplies to fix it, lawn tractor, new furniture etc. And i'm borrowing money on top of that. F' it, balls to the wall bitch.

I'm getting slightly consistent, and increasingly confident in my online poker money-making skills. If I can build my bankroll up to a few grand I'm definately going to invest more energy into this venture.

What is more valuable than time?

I'm off to plot my ascention into greatness.

Evil Genius out

Assed out

What a freakin night

Man I am feeling Assed out today. Was up playing poker like a junkie till 3:00 am last night.The wife picked a fight with me the other night about my use of internet porn when she's away teaching piano on the weekends. Hey, i'm 25 years old, have a pretty strong drive, and am waaay too lazy to fantasize. Sue me.Way too much info i'm sure, but anyways... The wife is angry and she was very precise in tilting me last night. After squabbling with her for a few, I proceeded to drop my entire online bankroll of $430 in about an hour and a half. The whole time I knew I was tilting and playing poorly, but stubbornly defied the poker gods reguardless. I played until the cashier read a big fat goose egg.So what did I do?I washed my face, grabbed some cold water, and reloaded for $300 more. Big mistake? I think not. I proceeded to go on a tear winning back the $430 I had lost and an additional $50 to boot. I just really straightened up my game and played with a deliberate focus that paid off nicely.Now, the goal is to go into the situation with the same mindset and clear focus and just take down the $500 a night like I obviously can. Ha, variance is a bitch. +$150 monday, +$140 tuesday, + $50 last night.... Not too bad for someone who was playing the .10/.25 game a few months ago. Now i'm almost exclusively playing Pot limit Omaha hi/low. 5/10 is the current limit and i'm loving it. I've ran into quite a few seriously clueless players at this limit and am excited to see if they exist in the higher levels too once my bankroll permits.Also bubbled in two $100 omaha MTT's the last 2 days. 32nd out of 280 last night(30 paid) and 12th of 90 on tuesday(10 paid) grrrr...numbers would look much nicer with even a min cash at these two. I'll get there, you'll see.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Feeling sick

Just one more hour to go in the workday and i'm feeling totally assed out. I've sold a ton of electronics today and have been busy for at least 60% of the time i've spent here in the office. The 3/4 of a pot of coffee, 16oz double strength rock star energy drink, and the 2 tasty onion bagles with chive and garden vegetable cream cheese loaded with turkey and regular cheese have done a mega-diarreah-dungodookie-bomb piledriver on my stomach and my head feels like its swimming in toxic waste.

Mostly I feel sick because the wife is being evil to me. She's got a serious problem with the fact that I pleasure myself to internet porn when she's away on the weekends. This is quite the quagmire in the old DirtyHarry Callahan household. What am I supposed to do over here?? Go without physical pleasures for an entire weekend alone? Impossible...I've tried that and it was not pretty(as in pipe bomb factory in the basement and blowing off my left testicle and a good chunk of my leg not pretty). I'm home alone playing poker and working on the house for the greater part of most weekends. I sometimes manage to go out with friends, but not often. One of the only prosaic things to cut through the thick sheath of loneliness I endure is the ease of masturbation provided from the porno. It's not like I lust after other women or am unfaithful. It's simply, as previously stated at length, that I'm a very lazy individual. Who's got the energy to manifest a visual fantasy every time they get that Rosco wants to come out of his house and play feeling? I know I sure don't.

What the fuck...if she'd just stay home on the weekends I wouldn't have to take care of myself at all. Leave my self love sessions out of your mind and stop being such a cruel and poisonous person if you do decide to talk about it. Very f'd up.

Aside from that, I netted +$140 last night playing poker. Mostly single table tournies with a short run at an omaha hi low ring table. I just missed the registration time on the $100 pot limit multi tourney that I was feinding to get into. I'm convinced that omaha hi/low is the game for me.

Can't wait to get home in an hour and hop onto PartyPoker. Being that I feel slightly vomitous I'll most likely play for a few hours, stop to finish Greenstein's book, and then play out until 11pm or so.

Man i'm not happy with the fact that the wife can get under my skin like she does. There is nobody else out there that can make me as angry as she can. Just now i'm fantasizing someone pushing me over the edge just so I can smash their face like a rotten pumpkin with my hamhock f'ing fists. I haven't really laid into someone in a long time and I think i'm about due. I need to join a boxing gym. The discipline, endurance, skill, and just total fucking release is definately needed.

Why can't you just fucking give me some peace and be my friend? That's all I want from you. Do the things that you promise, stop denying your own faults, and stop throwing mine in my face.

I've just been hit with an overwhelming wave of sadness. you know why? Cause you're a LADY...ahahahah American dad sunday night, great shit. The creator of family guy and American dad is a comedic genius. Nuff said.

Fuck me
evilgenius out

Monday, August 01, 2005

Making moves

It's August and all is well. My confidence has been steadily rising, as has my strength and endurance during my daily training sessions. Today looks like the day to start jogging as well. F' the fact that it's extremely muggy outside, i'll cut through the fog with ease.

My folks came down for the weekend which was pretty cool. Besides constantly telling me how messy my place is and how I need to move out so they can sell the house, they're very pleasent to be around.

Friday night was by far my best poker night to date. I played a $100 buyin Omaha tourney and an omaha cash game simultaneously. I won back $60 of my tourney buyin with the cash game, and then left the table to concentrate on the tournament. There were 70 entrants with the top 10 getting cash. Needless to say I took down the whole thing for a first place prize of $1,960. The best cash i'd had prior to this was a 3rd place $820 from a $20 buyin 7 card stud tourney. All in all I profited $1,000 this weekend after the $400 i lost thursday and the $500 yesterday. Still, not too bad for two days' work.

And it's Monday, back in the cube farm breaking my ass sitting all day. It's going to be nice to actually work again someday.


Friday, July 29, 2005

Imagine if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about

You stand out like a turd in a punch bowl!
The whole world's crazy, except for me and thee....sometimes i'm not so sure about thee.
A wise man learns to master his mind while a fool remains a slave to it.
Crush your enemies totally, always say less than necessary, the tongue is the most difficult beast to master.
Aim small, miss small.
Never accept a task if you are not equal to the burden.
When you're good at making excuses it's hard to be good at anything else.
I hallucinate when i'm extremely tired and it's f'ing cool.
Fuck money, do what you love(i need to take my own advice)
Try to think like those around you.
Those that you surround yourself with become as your reflection to the outside world.
Value substance over attenuation.
Make friends with your shower.
Be your own best friend, love yourself and depend on yourself, trust yourself.
Break free from preoccupation.
Make yourself venture into the unknown.
Share your experiences.
Tell your friends about my awesome blog.(seriously, i'm lonely here)
Don't be scared.

From here on out i will be called Eugene, pronounced (EE-Yoo-Jeen)

Damm, squish, living piss

I stayed up until 4:30 am last night playing poker online in what had to be my worst night to date. -$430 or my entire online bankroll at this time. Fortunately I have just cashed out about $600 and am still up on the month, but that definately sucks balls. Needless to say, I feel like some kind of zombified creton right now.

I actually enjoy the way I feel following an extended period of sleep depression. After a few days of little to no Z's you begin to experience an altered perception of reality. It seems as if everything becomes much simpler. I am able to see to the heart of situations and messages almost instantly. It presents the human condition in a very amusing light. I'm not even going to try and explain that right now.

I had a fucking truck driver try to run me off the road this morning. My usual commute was extended by about a half hour due to a closed lane preceding an intersection on the main drag leading to work. It was all kinds of a clusterfuck, but not too many scumbags jockeying for position. Well, the construction workers decided to move some cones back to about 5 feet in front of my car as I was sitting at the light leading into the intersection. They were shortening the lane in that spot. The trucker that had been behind me since the beginning of this road made it clear that he had every intention of cutting me off when the light turned green. Inching forward, reving his engine. Why should I concede my position? Green light, my car takes off faster, I get in front and all is well. It wasn't like I was pulling a douchebag(squish squish) move trying to cut him off, on the contrary. He was very much the douche(squish squish).

Anyways, this guy is inflamed at my act of perceived disrespect. How dare I defy the will of he and his powerful semi Maximus on their neverending quest to soil the world with their unique form of inbred homosexual douchebaggery(squuuiisssh)? This asshole proceeded to lay on his horn and ride my ass all through the intersection and an additional 50 feet past. He started swerving into the opposite lane trying to cut me off and get ahead of me. I didn't let him in and he was bugging the fuck out in his cab.

This guy's intense assholishness caused me to beat the living piss out of him. And if you don't know how it can be to have not an ounce of living piss in you, well, it really sucks. This was an accomplishment as I have, in my somewhat matured state, seriously mellowed out. I envisioned stopping the car on a dime and just climbing into this guy's truck to give him the beatdown he had been screaming for. 5-6 good blasts to the face outta do it was my thought. But no, my evil henchmen and henchwomen, I opted for the peaceful solution of slow driving with middle finger flapping.

Final note for now: Today is a great day for slacking off at work. About 88 degrees and painfully (in the wish I was at the beach or fishing) sunny. This is beer drinking weather. Since I can't drink beer at work, I'll aggressively seek out things other than work to keep me occupied until I can go home and drink beer in the sun with my shirty off. I think i'll read a few blogs and try to learn html from one of those free websites.

Unfaithfully yours,
Evil genius

Thursday, July 28, 2005

F'ing HTML, naked glutton, poker joy, songs

Damm, I am so computer illiterate it's pathetic. I just spent the last hour and a half of my precious work time trying to figure out how to post google adsense html into my blog. I registered it on a bunch of blog finding sites and whatnot to see if I can get one person to stop bye. Since that person who does eventually visit is going to be blown away with how cool I am and tell everyone they know all about this blog I need to get some ads on here to start generating some green.

I have been successful only in totally screwing up the layout of my front page here so that You can't see my current post until you scroll about 2 feet down the page. This blows, but it's thursday which is almost Friday and that's f'ing wonderful.

I broke my diet last night by letting the Christina convince me to order a pizza. I then proceeded to ravage half the pie by dipping it in tasty blue cheese dressing and eating 2-3 pieces whole at a time while masturbating and rubbing dish soap on my chest screaming WHO'S THE BEST NABISAKI, WHO'S YOUR F'ING DADDY!! 58 HOTDOGS IN ONE SITTING AINT SHIT!!

Needless to say, my wife was not amused(or at all suprised that I was naked from the waiste down on the front porch doing this).

So I've finally got her interested in poker. You have no idea how excited I am about this. Instead of her brooding a deep seeding and venomous hatred toward my favorite hobby, she is actually finding it interesting. It's adorable to see her taking notes and trying to remember hand rankings. I started 2 nights ago by teaching her 5 card draw, and last night we moved on to no limit texas hold-em. She can't wait to play some more and watch some tournament action on TV. Ecstatic I am.

Often when I'm driving home from work and i'm done WOOSHING for the day, I like to jam out in my own mind and sing random songs out loud. Most of these are origional pieces with not much talent involved. Yesterday's went something like this:

A' whack a mole at the carney,
A' Tommy boy with Chris Farley,
Some funny shit A' hardy harley,
I need rehab the hops and Barley.

A' gift of gab from the blarney-stone,(kissed it a few years an aside, it is common knowledge that the locals enjoy pissing on said stone as a passive agressive FU to the tourists)
You're gettin stabbed in Kilarney,(southwest Irish town known for it's agressive anti-english sentiment, old time irish war tunes in pubs, and it's local's proficiency in stabbing outsiders)
No Honda man I need a Harley,.....and so on.

I don't give a fuck if you think the song is lame... Get the hell out of my store you buttpirate(pronounced BEEUT Pirate meaning; midwestern mountainclimbing criminals known to travel in packs and take refuge atop Buttes ---->remember, the rock outcroppings you learned about in elementery school and snickered whenever Mr. Foulbreath old drunk would mention them)
Yeah you,'s a good way for me to amuse myself on the ride home. Nice alternative to overplayed radio tunes until I get my Sattelite Radio.

I'm going to email this to all my friends (see: self and wife) and see if they like it. If not I'll promptly end my friendship (marriage) and take up riding the rales down in Lousisiana, TExas, and Arizona. I'll rejoin my old Shanghai outfit and sell the unfortunate tourests that I capture to my buddy Duschevski(guy can drink a handle of Stoli in 3 chugs without blinking and eye) to put into the Eastern-Euro sex trade. Not a bad gig if you ask me.

Well....back to work(posting on the poker forum that I frequent) for another hour and a half.

Unfaithfully yours,


Knock Knock

Who's there?

I eat mop.

I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo.)


Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Triple threat

Damm, three posts in one day...that's almost as cool as when I whipped off at my desk.
I finally got the new poker books that I ordered last night. Barry Greenstein's "Ace on the River", and Dan Harrington's "Harrington on holdem 'End Game' " Needless to say I immediately ejaculated all over my stomach hair, hip bone, and upper right leg as soon as I saw the package on the back steps. And let me tell you...Barry's book is fucking awesome. This guy is a very intelligent and insightful poker player, writer, and teacher. He talks about much more than the mundane starting hand requirements an pot odd this and bullshit that. He gives you a feel of the humanity involved in the poker lifestyle. And this is a real look through the eyes of a long time and very seasoned professional. Great read, one night and i'm 3/4 of the way through it's 300 pages.

F yeah...15 minutes to check out time...I can hardly stand the fucking boredom.

Oh yeah

If anyone ever somehow does happen across this site, feel free to post a comment or send me an email at

Rosco is the name of my penis, which as the name implies, is freakishly small. Hasn't grown an inch since I was 7 as a matter of fact.

I'm thinking about registering this on one of those blog rating sites just to see if anyone else thinks at all like me. My general opinion of myself and my little blog here is that my blog and I basically rule the fucking universe and don't need your approval so F off....get the f' up out of here, get out of I fucking mean it..GET OUT OF TOWN BITCH....

For some reasons my old skinhead-esque death metal high school days just popped into my head. The song "Five minutes alone" by pantera just ran through my head as I pictured kicking your blog disapproving ass out of my town. As I remember all the crazy ass shit i used to talk to players on the opposing team in football. I played Ironman ball(offense and defense), as did the rest of my tiny ass football team, all through high school. I'd shave my head durning season and dive heavily into working out, smoking weed, and blasting death metal....Six feet under, Cannibal Corpse, Pantera, Slayer, and anything that wasn't at all "pansified" in it's creedo.

Well, during games I would unleash the darkest and most evil side of my furious persona on my enemy. I looked at it like a preditor/prey scenerio. I was the vicious and heavily toothed creature waiting for my cage door to swing open(the opposing center to hike the ball) so that I could proceed to feast upon the flesh of those who dare stand against me and the rest of my pride.

Man I would seriously get into the heads of my "enemies" during games. That was one hell of a period in life, and some of my closest friends to date were on my high school football team.

Being a completely kick ass athlete in high school, fortunately, didn't curse me with the Al Bundy syndrome. This is where one rehashes memories of past glory whenever presented the opportunity. Sure, those close to me all know the stories....but most have only heard them once and were told in context(ie..drunk as hell at some bar or keg party)

I wish I could keep posting, but my neurotic manageria hemmoroidus of a boss is milling around all neurotically and I can sense his tension being generated from his knowledge that I am in fact blatantly not performing work functions. So on that note...Peace

Unfaithfully yours,
Steve The Evil Genious

The Season

Almost the end of another day and i'm still feeling like it was wooshed, but what the hell I've gotta eat right. Gotta pay the bills.

In spite of this lack of job satisfaction, i'm feeling increasingly better with each passing day. I attribute this, in great part, to the fact that my Leo season is approaching. I became aware of this change in myself about 4 years ago. Every year between mid July and the end of August
I undergo a altering of perspective. It always starts with a period of inflection. I realize how another year has gone and I haven't really accomplished anything astronomical. I become slightly depressed initially and will indulge in whatever vice is present at the time. Through this low point I reach a moment of clarity and something in my mind clicks. I shift into a gear that is dominated by confidence, discipline, and overall strength of character. I become faster, stronger, smarter, and more attractive very rapidly. This is due to my freakishly good genes and drill seargent like sense of self discipline which usually only surfaces around this time.

Well, the time is upon us my minions. I have entered into the power zone and all is improving. I have grown my lion's mane and am strenthening my body, soul and mind. I've cast off preoccupation and am focused on the key aspects in life. The purchase of our new house, the fortifying of my relationship with Christina, the quest for poker greatness, and a mission of physically morphing back into a deisel sexy ubermanbeast.

I've taken on a diet of one peice of fruit for breakfast, a can of tuna with nothing added for lunch, and a lean meat/vegetable meal for dinner. No dessert, no soda or other relevent garbage. I have however been experiencing intense cravings for ice cold beer. I feel this is due to the hot-as-ballsness going on outside. Cold beer = F'ing the best in the summer.

But beer aside(which I haven't allowed myself to buy yet) may be my one allowance if I decide to have one at all.

It feels good to walk around with sharpened senses, increased agility and strength, as well as quick intelligence. This is my favorite time of year.

I've been wearing sunglasses all day at the office lately. I don't do this because I think it looks cool, rather to protect my eyes. Flourescent light coupled with the constant blue glow of a computer screen can seriously fuck your eyesight. I've woken up blurry eyed (which has never happened before) several times since taking this shit-heeled GOOD(get out of debt) Job. Not cool. So fuck off if you don't like the sunglasses or the fact that I take my shoes off during the day. Not professional.....not professional......fuck that...give me a professional bitch(professional = blowjob) if you have such an f'ing problem.


I stand tall, a loyal and viciously protective leader. Open to the insights of the young and old I have no prejudice in assessing knowledge. We each have a unique perspective and it is critical to understand the ground on which our fellow man stands. I appreciate an adept student with an eagerness to learn, the propensity to think independently, and necessity to present an independent view. I am the eternal student myself and strive to be the humble proctor. I am destined to teach and improve the human condition. I must master my endeavors in order that my opinion be respected and absorbed. I will use my mastery in whatever it is that I practice in order to reach those willing to grow.

And on top of this all, I'm just a wild ass douchebag from Connecticut. I'm extremely lazy, totally self concious, and I have no friends. On the upside, I have an awesome family, the most beautiful and totally fucking cool wife, and those that I care about love me in kind. I know this because they have all come to the collective knowledge that I am a completely deranged, psychotic, delusional, and overall kick ass super great person. And they still love me. Sweeeet.

I'm so self centered. But what the F', when you're destined to die young and leave a good looking corpse, who isn't.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH my legions...........woosh!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


Another day just about down the tubes. 4:20...that used to be the time when my friends and I would get all excited to take lots of bong rips, blunt and joint drags, and copious amounts of bowl drags. Yeah, I used to smoke a lot of weed in highschool.

See, I am somewhat of an obsessive compulsive with an intense streak of laziness. If I wasn't so lazy i'd most likely be certifiably insane or at least more socially unacceptable than I am now. Whenever I get interested in something all else loses meaning. I will dedicate my being to learning and progressing in this new venture. The most recent three have all been somewhat geeky, gametype activities. First chess, Second Magic cards, and currently Poker.

I've casually played chess since the age of 5 or so. I would have games with my father on his cool and intricate korean board. I'd play against the little computer models and do ok, nothing prodigy level. It wasn't until college that I took up a real interest in the game. I met my friend Angelo, A 76ish year old F'ing awesome man that has become a close friend. He was auditing a an Italian class(see: taking class for free cause he's really f'ing old) that I was in and he used to blurt out all kinds of ill-timed questions while the teacher was in the middle of a lecture. My mostly freshman classmates(I was a junior at the time) would giggle to one another whenever he piped up. So, obviously we became fast friends. I would answer his italian questions during class and we began to hang out and talk afterwards. Turns out he's a nasty chess player.

About three class days later Angelo and I had played about 50 games of chess and I was triumphant in kicking his ass all of one time. That's right, he totally crushed me. It was then that I realized that I was a weak ass chess player and needed to up my game. I brought a board and some chess books with me to Italy(internship for 3 months, f'ing great) and would practice after dinner most every night. Needless to say, when I came back it was on. I nearly crushed the resident chess expert math professor at Marist(he ended up winning in the end due to a novice mistake), and was able to beat everyone else in the chess club.

Holy shit this is a long and boring post. Bottom line, Angelo is great and super old, and we are about even at chess to date. I fucking rule.

Anyway, I love poker and I love to work out and be in shape. Since i'm a hopelessly fat waste of space it seems I will have to up my poker game to compensate.

I will be in super shape very soon too.